Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
