People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
