haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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