Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
