paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I have aggressive nipples.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
