Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
