A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
