Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
