The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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