I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
