She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
