I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I didn't notice because vodka
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
