i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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