make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
