ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
