the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
farters have to be the big spoon...
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
