I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
