he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
