Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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