you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
