Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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