Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
