ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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