Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
