I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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