I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
