Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
