I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
