Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
