I seem to have left my pride at pride
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
