Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
