when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
