In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
