worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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