Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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