Can i not drive my cunt home
how can u be prego again
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
