I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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