At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
i think i just lost a toe
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
