well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
