She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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