I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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