So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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