i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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