Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I understand Curling. That high.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Randomize
