thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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