And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize