my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
