Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize