Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize