Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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