Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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