I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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