How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
