Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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