ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Randomize
