Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
