At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
