You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
you win again, gameday.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
