we have pet lesbian snakes
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
