I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
barbara walters just said penis...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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