Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
