Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
